A Checklist for Managing Your Boss
here will always be those who view the concept of managing upward as flattery and manipulation. Others hold the common belief that if bosses are wise, they don’t need to be managed and such efforts will be viewed solely as attempts to play office politics.
But managing upward is not about ambition, promotions or raises. It’s about the job and how to be effective at getting things done.
Here’s a review of key points from a classic Harvard Business Review article originally published in 1990, and it remains pertinent today. “Managing Your Boss” was written by Professors Emeriti John J. Gabarro, PhD, and John P. Kotter, PhD.
Mutual Dependence
Two people can be temperamentally incapable of working together. Personality conflicts occur all the time. But when they happen between bosses and managers, differing personalities are only a small part of the true problem.
People usually have unrealistic assumptions and expectations about the nature of boss-subordinate relationships. They fail to recognize that it’s one of mutual dependency between two fallible human beings, so they avoid managing the relationship altogether or do so ineffectively.
Some managers behave as though their bosses are not dependent on them. They don’t see how much the boss needs their help to do his job efficiently; how their actions can severely hurt him; and how they truly need to be cooperative, dependable and honest.
Other managers see themselves as completely independent of their bosses. They gloss over how much information they need from the boss to perform their jobs well. In truth, a boss can play a critical role in linking managers to the rest of the organization, making sure priorities are consistent.
Other managers assume the boss is a clairvoyant who will magically know which information or help is needed and magically provide it. This is dangerously unrealistic.
Managers must recognize that mutual dependence between two fallible humans requires two components:
- Having a good understanding of the other person and yourself, especially regarding strengths, weaknesses, work styles and needs
- Using this information to develop and manage a healthy working relationship—one that is compatible with both individuals’ work styles and assets, is characterized by mutual expectations and meets the other person’s most critical needs.
Understanding Your Boss
Managing your boss requires you to understand him and his workplace context, as well as your own situation. Some managers aren’t thorough enough in this regard.
At a minimum, you need to appreciate your boss’s goals, pressures, strengths and weaknesses:
- What are your boss’s organizational and personal objectives?
- What are his/her pressures, especially from his/her boss?
- What are your boss’s strengths and advantages?
- What are his/her weaknesses and blind spots
- How does your boss like to get information: memos, emails, meetings, text or calls?
- How does your boss handle conflict?
Without this information, a manager is flying blind and problems are inevitable.
Understanding Yourself
You’re not going to change your (or your boss’s) basic personality, but you can learn which traits, habits or behaviors impede or facilitate working together.
A manager is typically more dependent on the boss than vice versa. This dependence inevitably leads to a degree of frustration and anger when one’s actions or options are constrained by the boss’s decisions. The way in which a manager handles these frustrations largely depends on predispositions toward those who hold authority positions.
The Counter-dependent Manager
Some people’s instinctive reaction is to resent the boss’s authority and rebel against his or her decisions. A manager may even escalate a conflict to inappropriate levels.
Psychologists call this pattern of reaction to authority “counter-dependent” behavior. The counter-dependent manager sees the boss as the institutional enemy — a hindrance to progress and an obstacle to be circumvented or, at best, tolerated.
Reactions to being constrained are strong and sometimes impulsive. These managers strongly defend their sense of independence and self-sufficiency, making it difficult to accept orders, especially from a boss who tends to be directive or authoritarian.
The Compliant Manager
At the other extreme are managers who ignore their anger and behave in a compliant fashion when the boss makes what they know to be a poor decision. These managers will agree and conform, even when a disagreement may be welcomed. Often, a boss wants pushback and would easily change a decision if given more information.
The Passive-Aggressive Manager
A third style involves the passive-aggressive manager, who may appear to be compliant and cooperative, but holds counter-dependent beliefs of anger and rebelliousness. This manager can be even more dangerous and disruptive because the reaction is covert. Instead of arguing and expressing resentment, he or she will sabotage in subtle ways.
Reactions to Authority
Bosses don’t have unlimited time, encyclopedic knowledge or extrasensory perception, nor are they evil enemies. All bosses have their own pressures and concerns that are sometimes at odds with a manager’s wishes — and often for good reason.
If you believe, on the one hand, that you have some tendencies toward counter-dependence, you can understand and even predict what your reactions and overreactions are likely to be.
If, on the other hand, you believe you have some tendencies toward overdependence, you may question the extent to which your over-compliance or inability to confront real differences may be rendering both you and your boss less effective.
Developing and Managing the Relationship
Ultimately, the burden falls upon the manager to learn the boss’s expectations. Working for someone who tends to be vague when expressing expectations can be difficult, but savvy managers always find a way to overcome barriers.
No doubt, some managers will react to this article with disdain, arguing their jobs are complicated enough and they shouldn’t have to invest time and energy in managing upward. They fail to realize how managing the boss can actually simplify their jobs by eliminating the potential for severe problems.
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